Thank you to icalynn and mabetini for the snowflake cookies!

Sometimes I just need to remind myself... This is my home, these people are my family. They love me and I love them. The music that changes and saves my life doesn't suck, but not everyone has to like it. I'm worth something, I always have been and I always will be. I'm allowed to like what I want to like, love who I want to love, and believe what I want to believe.

All of that is okay.

My heart is too fucking big. I care about the people in my life too much. I can only keep so many people happy at once and I'm losing my mind. All I wanted to do was help someone I love, and where did it get me? I fucked things up with my family and now I'm drowning in a fucking tar pit. I can't blame anyone but myself for it either, which is the really shitty thing. I always do this. Every goddamn time. And I do it to myself. I put myself in these situations that end up tearing me up from the inside out and I don't know if I'm ever going to be anything better than this. I'm tired, I'm done, I don't want to be the mediator anymore. I don't even want to try. I want to retreat to a rock and forget who I am because I feel too fucking much for one person.

I want to go home, but I have no fucking clue where home is.

1. My parents, to pay off their credit card debt.
2. My future roommates, to help with rent. I'm a sneaky bitch, eh?
3. Like, half of it to my freakin' awesome church, so they can build things and feed people in Afghanistan.

... Okay, A) this is the most ludicrous Writer's Block question I've ever seen. B) any vampire is going to be good at baseball, you don't need to sire and MLB player. You could pull some overweight bum off the street and he could kick Suckward Cullen's ass all over the diamond. C) If you're a vampire, why the HELL would you play baseball? I mean... I'd be out living it up eternity style, rocking the nightlife.

Lestat de Lioncourt. Duh. I refuse to believe he doesn't exist, btdubs.

I started m'self a little writing journal, mostly for OCs (as I'm trying to actually work on my own stuff), but I'll be posting any fanfic I write there, and using this for memes and personal stuff and the like. So, if you'd like to add that, I'm desperate for concrit on my stuffs. :D

neverplasticine 

Thanks!

Love,
Lindsey
 

So, in honor of retrieving all of the old data off of the late Peter (rest in peace, friend), I finished a video that I was working on before he crashed.

This is dedicated to all of you crazy ED fans out there. :D
\

Okay! So. The end. ~woogle~

Today I did the usual. I cleaned, then I wrote. Finished a fic! Yay!

Then Twitter Danko showed up, and dear God. I've never laughed so hard and been so thoroughly skeeved out at the same time. And I learned what "pegging" is! Twitter: Educational since now.

That's pretty much all.

Whee!

God, I suck at this.

DAY 5

Opened at work, and DIDN'T set off the alarm this time (kudos, me), and that wasfine. I'm pretty sure I'll be able to do it alone soon.

OOH! Later that night we ran into Ben at Borders, who just HAPPENED to be having a birthday. So we abducted him for a little while, tortured him, and sent him back home.

Oh, and Anji and I proved how lame we are and went to bed at 11:45 on a Saturday night. 

DAY 6

Literally didn't do anything. Woke up, watched three episodes of Scrubs, then watched Shaun of the Dead, fooled around on the internet, watched Anj get repeatedly slaughtered on RE5, and.... that's about it. So, quite uneventful.

SORRY I SUCK AT THIS MEME, MM20

Slept waaaay in this morning. I regret nothing.

Did a TON of cleaning chores today. Vacuumed a few rooms, cleaned the kitchen (I found a Kraken living there), picked up the bathroom again, did some laundry.

Most importantly, I wrote for the first time in four months. So that was REALLY good for me. I forced myself to do it for a whole hour, and only managed to get a little over a page written, but it's a step in the right direction.

Oh, and I worked for two hours and got a bra that fits. YAY!

Okay, so I'm a little late, but I was out. My bad!

Worked, wanted to kill my boss. Cleaned the bathroom and attempted to clean the kitchen. Also did some laundry.

Went dancing with my friend Timony! We go to a wonderful gay dance club downtown. (The let me in despite my straight-ness.) It's lovely, because you can dance with boys who only want to dance with you, and they like to take off their shirts and make out with each other. In other words, it's what I imagine heaven looking like. -blissfais-

Alright, time to go to sleep, despite the ringing in my ears. Until tomorrow!

Dearest flist,

In an attempt to break my 4 month long writing dry spell, I'm going to try to start writing fic again. Thing is, I hate pretty much all of my unfinished projects, and I've been out of the loop so long that I don't know what's been done and what hasn't. So, my humble request... prompt me!

I'm comfortable writing Alias and Heroes, and I  might be down with writing Kings once I've caught up on the episodes I haven't seen. So fire away, do your worst!

Today was an okay day! I didn't sleep all that well, but other than that, it was good. Mostly just hung out with the girls.

Made some new friends! frozenfoxfire  met them on the interwebs and it turns out they live not too far from here. They're both very nice! We hung out at the Pretzel Maker and discussed video games and other such things for awhile.

Other than that, eh... pretty uneventful day!

Because I forgot to do it yesterday, so I'll start today and go till next Tuesday.

Okay, so... today. I got snacks to keep myself fed between meals, which was good. Can't find disc 5 of my S1 Heroes box set, so that's disturbing, as it contains my beloved Parasite. Hopefully it'll turn up.

I was vaguely considering taking up fandom again, but the explosion over last night's episode kind of got to me. It's a little bit harder to enjoy a show that everyone you talk to is picking apart, you know?

I don't care if it's not old-school enough. Goldeneye for N64. -nod-

I'm sorry, guys. I'm just now getting around to announcing a hiatus that's been going on for awhile. I'm sorry about the Vortex people I've been ditching. If you want to give my character away to someone who wants it, feel free to do so. I know the whims of Angela Petrelli need answering.

I'm still lurking on all of your journals and making sure you're all alive, so I'll pop up from time to time, but I just don't seem to have the energy to participate in fandom at the level I used to.

I love you all like crazy, and I'd like to come back some day, when the madness has cleared with my promotion and stuff. Until then, I'll be inconsistently kicking around on Twitter and sporadically commenting on things.

Love love love,
Lindsey

P.S. Again, sorry.

Thanks for the unexpected virtual red lantern, Anon! You rock!

"Don't forget to be the way you are." from Placebo's song Plasticine.

Also, something Hannibal Lecter says in Red Dragon;

"Without our imaginations, we'd be just like all those other poor dullards. Fear is the price of our instrument."